no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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