I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
