My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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