easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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