hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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