She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
