their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
