is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
