Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
