new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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