who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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