I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
