Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
