Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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