shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize