when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize