trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
