with your own penis?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
