is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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