White coat. Heels.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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