I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
