Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize