She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just found a bag of teeth...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
