Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize