But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
