Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize