I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
