She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
