i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
