shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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