i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
