with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
