Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize