genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
