I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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