I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
