You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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