im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think my tv is drunk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesnโt shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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