Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
