If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My pussy is not your playground.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
