that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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