I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He better not be in your backpack
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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