Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
