I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
