He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
