oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
50% drunk capacity currently
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
