i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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