Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize