someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
