hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
