it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
