I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
