I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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