After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
