just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
