after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
