Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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