How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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