also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
