none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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