Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
