hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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