she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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