with your own penis?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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