I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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