everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
