yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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