Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
