they need to just BURY HIM!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
