Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
