Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
